It seems that in recent months my Facebook news-feed has been filled with
videos,
quotes, and shared blog posts about modesty. I'm not sure if this is a topic that actually concerns that world at large or just the few, the proud, the Mormons. Regardless, the topic of modesty is, and has been for quite some time, an interest of mine.
The most recent uproar has been
this post, in which a women with three sons and daughter, writes to teenage girls of the world letting them know that the provocative selfies they post on Facebook are actually viewed by people, in particular young teenage boys.
And their parents (awkward). Girls who post such things are blocked, no second chances in that home.
As you can imagine, there have been several rebuttals to that post. I read
one in particular that I thought was well-thought out and also had some good points. She basically says boys can see girls in a respectable way after such pictures have been viewed and that people should be given second, third, and fourth chances.
After reading both posts, I would like to share my take on modesty.
- Modesty is about motives and attitude. One time I saw two girls in bikinis. One of them was modest (which is not to say that I believe bikinis are modest clothing - but rather a statement about the attitude of modesty). Those two girls wearing bikinis were different. One of the girls was wearing her bikini with the intent to show off her hot bod to all those wrestlers sharing our hotel. Her body was helping her get attention and she liked it. The second girl was wearing a bikini simply because it was the swimsuit she brought. She did not appear to be seeking attention in the least. It was here that I learned that the specific clothes you are wearing have less to do with modesty than why you are wearing them***. Are you clothes enhancing your full self - mind, spirit and body? Or are they being worn for the sole purpose of showing off that hot bod of yours? When these are your motives, just about any clothing could be immodest -- no matter how skimpy or covering. You are a daughter of God -- your body is housing a SPIRIT -- something divine. I wonder if our eternal spiritual selves (the part of ourselves that can remember living with God as just a Spirit person) cringe a little when our physical bodies are used for such short-sighted purposes such as high-lighting our bodies in a purely physical way. You don't need to be a display - your body is given to you create, to do, and to accomplish great things. Don't sell yourself short thinking that your body was meant to be only an object to be looked at - you are in all reality better than that.
- It's not hottest. Stop telling me that. Now to everyone that has ever said, "Modest is Hottest." It's not. We know that. So you can just stop. I will not be hotter or sexier or more seductive by being modest. BUT THAT'S OKAY! I do want to be attractive, but I want to be attractive in a way that compels someone to know more than just my appearance. Hot implies to me a limited perspective. It's something you say about a model/actor/actress/someone you see across the room. So maybe we could all just stop pretending that modest is hot, because honestly that's not the goal. Modest is respectable, wholesome, and pure, but it's not really hot. So let's just let that phrase go... and soon...
- I'm not doing it for you, but I am aware of you. For all the ladies out there that say I shouldn't have to dress so that the young men out there can keep their minds out of the gutter: YOU ARE RIGHT. You don't. For me, modesty is about understanding my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I have a potential to become something much like Him. He has given me this body as a gift with a purpose. Knowing these two things helps me to know that my body should be cared for and covered up. With that said, it's very Cain-like of us to say, it's not my problem what's going on in somebody else's head. Can't we all help each other succeed? So while I dress the way I do for myself and because I know who I am (a daughter of God), there is definitely added bonus that you get to be your brother's keeper in just a small way! (This blog-post talks about Young Men talking responsibility for their own thoughts! I love this article!) So if the men of the world help themselves by keeping their minds clean and the women of the world keep themselves clean -- we're all winning! Cool huh?
My Testimony of Modesty:
As I've said, modesty has been a topic I have studied for a while now. The things I was hearing just weren't making me feel motivated to be modest. So I thought to myself, what would I tell my 14-year-old self that would make me want to be modest for more than just obedience purposes? Then I went to work figuring that out. And for me it all comes back to the
Plan of Salvation. I have been given a body with a purpose to progress and return back to my Heavenly Father. This body I have is a further extension of the spirit I have had for much longer! To respect my spirit and the Father that gave me this body, I wear modest things. I know that I have been blessed by this choice.
***Disclaimer: I think the clothes you are wearing are IMPORTANT. I think the Prophets and Apostles have given us guidelines to help us understand in a world that would easily confuse us as to what's appropriate and what's modest. The statements made in #1 are simply me exploring the doctrine BEHIND the guidelines.
